The lumberjack explained.

Hi guys!

Last year whilst I was on my gap year, I used to write a column for a website called www.10orless.com which was basically about relationships and men from the viewpoint of a single gal. Long story short, that employment terminated [apparently you shouldn't write semi-abusive emails to your boss]??? BUT I have realised that writing helps me vent and so I am resuming my 'love circle' column under a different name. 

The lumberjack reference may not make sense BUT I coined it whilst seeing a guy whom I shall now refer to as 'Onion'. Let me explain. A lumberjack is practical; a labourer - you don't buy a lumberjack flowers or treat them special because you presume that they are only good for felling trees, so you get them gifts like hammers and axes and they do not complain because they are simply just a lumberjack. In other words a lumberjack is a dickhead. Alas, I try to refrain from swearing and cursing as much as possible [unless of course the situation really calls for it] and so I have traded in the DH for the LJ.

Ok back to the point. I decided to resume a column such as this because in my 23 years of living, I have formed quite a few opinions about the opposite sex and ALTHOUGH I TRY not to be cynical and entirely dismissal of them, every.single.time. I give one a chance, they try to 'take me for a lumberjack'. I will admit, I am often also to blame - I admit that sometimes I have practically donned a checkered shirt and begged for an axe but I really am not a lumberjack and that is why I am sharing my thoughts, musings and rants with you all.

 Let me give you a brief background as to my erm 'relationboat' history. I say 'boat' because I never quite made it to the relationship and so technically I have never had a boyfriend [tragic I know]. I have however, made it into a few relationboats but somewhere along the line, they always decide that they 'can't just commit'.

Sooo Onion. Onion is erm a touchy issue for me because true to what I have since dubbed the Valentine's Day Curse [VDC], he spoke to me on february 13th and told me we should just be friends. I have to laugh because erm laughing is better than crying and I hear it gives you a six pack??

The thing I struggle to understand is WHY OH WHY, when I am just minding my own business, men come and find me, tell me I am far too 'cold' and 'unfeeling'...'mean' if you will....and then the nanosecond, I warm up they try to treat me like a lumberjack. Anyhoo, now you understand the meaning of the blog, follow me as I share with you all my experiences with the opposite sex and my general thoughts on relationships and men.

I cannot promise that you will always agree with me BUT I can promise that you will be entertained.

p.s. feel free to go to 10orless and read my old blogs BUT if you do so, you must also write in and tell them just how awesome I am so I am rehired because whilst I love writing, I also love getting paid to write. Ah- good times.

Anyhoo I will tell you the onion story in bits and bobs, whilst I try my best to be the strong woman that my mother/life taught me to be and get over him. Meanwhile, I am JUST making a teeny weeny declaration that the next time a man hands me a metaphorical axe in an attempt to label me a lumberjack, I will most definitely use said axe to dismember him. 

That will be all.