Wednesday 16 March 2011

New kid on the block...

Ok sooo I have a confession guys....

I think I am pregnant.


PSCHYE

But now nothing I say will be as shocking will it?? Ok so here goes....

I have a teeny tiny crush on a new guy. Not quite ready to share all the gory details about him with anyone else because it is still super early days but I thought I would write about him anyway. I am going to call him Dexter, because he is a wee bit of a genius. and if you didn't already know, I have a HUGE weakness for smart guys. He isn't snobby with it or anything but I am super aware of his intellect at all times because when we do the whole witty banter thing, he actually makes me work for my quick comebacks. It is quite unsettling speaking to someone who is smarter than I am but it is simultaneously kinda interesting.

Anyhoo, after the Onion fiasco, it is refreshing to speak to someone who not only appreciates sarcasm but doesn't require an explanation of what I mean when I fall back into my sarky ways. Ok background info - I have theoretically known Dexter for a long time, but we never really spoke so as far as I was concerned he just didn't exist in my world. As it happens, I was recently forced to extend the long arm of friendship to him in order to complete a mission [it really isn't as exciting as it sounds but I am trying to glam up the story for you].

Well what started off with the intention of being an 'In and Out' mission led to a text here, a conversation there and BOOM - he sucked me in with his big brain. Unfortunately/fortunately [not sure yet], he doesn't live in LDN, so we don't really get to hang out that often. Sooooo if/when we meet up the next time, I will decide if cerebral coitus is enough for me...

See guys?? 

I am not all doom and gloom buuuuuuut, I am still super wary of all male type creatures so I very much intend to keep my options open and date around like a common wench. I will  however keep you posted on the Dexter situation....


Monday 7 March 2011

Crossing the thin line.

I have often heard that there is a thin line betwixt love and hate. Yesterday, I firmly believe I crossed it with Onion. I was neither in love neither do I hate him  so we'll say a thin like between like and disrespect?...anyhoo, if I am honest with myself, I was still harbouring a secret hope that we would rekindle the flame. I find it hilarious the things that make me get over people. I mean, he has done some pretty darn messed up things, but there I was like a lumberjack still half heartedly holding on to an axe, waiting for him to realise that I am awesome [a true fact].

Then yesterday, we spoke and I realised that we were speaking as if naught had changed. This confused me somewhat because I figured that a change in mindset should manifest with a change in behaviour [especially since when I bumped into him at my church, he tried ever so slightly to avoid me]. Anyway, I asked him if he was happy with this decision for us to be just friends and he answered in the affirmative, but then made the fatal mistake of telling me that one day I would see that he was not right for me. He said other things as well but I really did not hear them because slap bang in the midst of this incredibly patronising soliloquay, I crossed over.

It hit me that he was talking absolute and utter shit [I told you I sometimes swear when necessary]. Not only was he giving me a faeces laden speech but he was genuinely expecting for me to remain to be there for him if/when he needed me. Alas, I had to interrupt his speech to inform him that we could no longer be friends. His reaction only confirmed the necessity of my decision - he....was...SHOCKED. As in genuinely, OMG, are you being serious - SHOCKED. That just made me laugh internally and inform him of my seriousness and then hang up the phone. I am no longer sad. No longer nostalgic, just bloody annoyed that I wasted my thoughts on such a creature and also relieved that I have made the cross over.

It took me a while but it is done and I am happier for it. I am single and ready to mingle. It turns out that I like the whole preamble of getting to know new people/guys, and the flirty banter. Don't throw rocks at me, I am just erm friendly.. is all. I don't know if I am quite ready to try the whole attempt at a relationship thing any time soon though. I am sure this is not appropriate behaviour for a lady but it really is my life and I firmly intend to juggle the attentions of many a gentleman caller until one convinces me that they are worth my undivided time. That will be all.