Monday 18 July 2011

It's not you, it's your virginity...

Ok so I had been brought up to believe that a woman's virginity was a beautiful gift. One that would be chased down by many a roguish pirate and therefore, a lady had to guard her cherry with chastity belts and things of the sort until a worthy knight man came along. What someone had neglected to tell me however was that a day would come when men would come across such a maiden and instead of being delighted at the fact that she had kept her virtue intact, they would flee. The reason?? She is TOO chaste. TOO pure and therefore would only bring all the emotional baggage of one who had hidden their hymen from wanton penises.



Wild? Preposterous?? yes...this is what I thought also until I heard those exact words from a real homo sapien. He told me that he doesn't want a whore per se but not a virgin either...in fact, to be precise, he said that he would prefer to be 'guy no.3' in her list of sexual conquests. So that she wasn't fresh off the break up with her 'first' but not so far gone that she was considered promiscuous.



If you are a woman then you should be boiling with rage because I know that I am. We get penalised for being 'sexually well done' and then also for being 'sexually rare'. Men now apparently want their women done 'just right'. [sorry for the cooking analogies but I am somewhat peckish] The point remains is that there is no winning. Quite frankly, I would like to buy a sex toy and be done with men altogether. I hear there is this new wonder called a 'sqweely' with not one but TEN tongue like extensions which promise an orgasm in two minutes flat.


Sure it is not a human but these tongues won't complain about my hermit hymen. For anyone reading, my birthday is in December. Thanks

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