Crossing the thin line.

I have often heard that there is a thin line betwixt love and hate. Yesterday, I firmly believe I crossed it with Onion. I was neither in love neither do I hate him  so we'll say a thin like between like and disrespect?...anyhoo, if I am honest with myself, I was still harbouring a secret hope that we would rekindle the flame. I find it hilarious the things that make me get over people. I mean, he has done some pretty darn messed up things, but there I was like a lumberjack still half heartedly holding on to an axe, waiting for him to realise that I am awesome [a true fact].

Then yesterday, we spoke and I realised that we were speaking as if naught had changed. This confused me somewhat because I figured that a change in mindset should manifest with a change in behaviour [especially since when I bumped into him at my church, he tried ever so slightly to avoid me]. Anyway, I asked him if he was happy with this decision for us to be just friends and he answered in the affirmative, but then made the fatal mistake of telling me that one day I would see that he was not right for me. He said other things as well but I really did not hear them because slap bang in the midst of this incredibly patronising soliloquay, I crossed over.

It hit me that he was talking absolute and utter shit [I told you I sometimes swear when necessary]. Not only was he giving me a faeces laden speech but he was genuinely expecting for me to remain to be there for him if/when he needed me. Alas, I had to interrupt his speech to inform him that we could no longer be friends. His reaction only confirmed the necessity of my decision - he....was...SHOCKED. As in genuinely, OMG, are you being serious - SHOCKED. That just made me laugh internally and inform him of my seriousness and then hang up the phone. I am no longer sad. No longer nostalgic, just bloody annoyed that I wasted my thoughts on such a creature and also relieved that I have made the cross over.

It took me a while but it is done and I am happier for it. I am single and ready to mingle. It turns out that I like the whole preamble of getting to know new people/guys, and the flirty banter. Don't throw rocks at me, I am just erm friendly.. is all. I don't know if I am quite ready to try the whole attempt at a relationship thing any time soon though. I am sure this is not appropriate behaviour for a lady but it really is my life and I firmly intend to juggle the attentions of many a gentleman caller until one convinces me that they are worth my undivided time. That will be all.